Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough and that no matter what you did, you would never be good enough? Do you sometimes unwittingly self-sabotage your self-esteem with bad thoughts?
You’re not alone.
What you’re feeling now is something many of us have experienced in our lives. We question ourselves if we’re good enough and, more often than not, we feel we aren’t. Modern-day society places so much pressure on us to succeed.
In a world where everyone else’s success and accomplishments are on full display, it’s easy to feel inadequate if you don’t have what they have. From making a certain amount of money to not having as many followers or connections, we end up automatically setting unrealistic goals and expectations for ourselves.
Or we are generally fairly unforgiving to ourselves, and we don’t deserve that. Here are 7 things you should keep in mind when you’re feeling down about yourself and questioning your own self-worth.
1. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side
They say comparison is the root of all unhappiness, and it’s hard to argue with that kind of logic. After all, there’s always gonna be someone out there who has more. More happiness, more money, even a nicer complexion.
These constant comparisons make us lose sight of, and even ignore, all of the good and wonderful things we have in our own lives and in ourselves. We’ve convinced ourselves we’re nothing, and in doing so, we become progressively unhappier.
A little hint: those others who have more, they are people too, and they’re comparing just like you.
They might even be envious of something YOU have and they don’t.
2. Your thoughts aren’t your reality
In many ways, we can be our own worst enemy, especially when we talk down to ourselves, letting our doubts and insecurities get the better of us. We all have cruel and discouraging thoughts from time to time, so hold on to the fact that bottom line, they’re just thoughts.
YOU have the power to choose how to deal with your own thoughts. They don’t have to define your reality and change the way you feel about yourself. Don’t be so quick to believe everything you think when you feel down and lonely.
3. Your worst traits and mistakes don’t define you
Self-acceptance, self-love, and compassion towards ourselves: these are all things most of us struggle to accomplish throughout our lives, especially when we’re perfectionistic.
It can be difficult to feel like you’re good enough when you’re so aware of all your flaws and imperfections. You need to remind yourself that your worst traits and mistakes don’t define you.
Be kind to yourself and celebrate all of your best qualities, because even on your worst days, there’s always more right than wrong with you, and that should be enough.
4. You ARE enough
Being a work in progress is great, it means you’re progressing. The best of us are works in progress. It means constant improvement. There’s no rule stating you need to have it all figured out, so keep learning and appreciate that progress means you’re constantly getting better.
Perfection is a myth.
You may still have a long way to go, but look at how far you’ve come. Take pride in yourself for making it this far, and make the most of where you are right now: all the best things in life take time.
5. You deserve to be loved and cared for
Famous author Stephen Chbosky said it best when he wrote “We accept the love we think we deserve”.
Remember those words for perspective the next time you’re wallowing in self-doubt and self-pity. We all get upset with ourselves at times. No matter how angry or ashamed you may feel, never let it stop you from accepting the kindness and compassion of others.
Oftentimes, it’s when we feel like we deserve it the least that we need love the most.
6. Sometimes, all that matters is the here and now
It’s far too common to encounter those who get so hung up on their past that they become stuck, unable to move forward in life. Also, there are those who let their anxiety and anticipation of the future keep them from enjoying the present.
Truthfully, sometimes all that matters is the here and now. Being more mindful of the present moment brings a certain peace of mind that you just don’t get from wasting your time fretting over the past or the future.
7. You are worthy and you matter
Finally, but perhaps most importantly, remember that you’re worthy. You are someone, you’re the only YOU to ever exist in the universe. Have you ever wished that you were someone else who seemed to have it all in life? The truth is what you see on the surface might not be true, because you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.
Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person YOU are. You do YOU as no one else can.
Allow yourself the freedom to feel scared, unsure, and uncomfortable sometimes, knowing that you’ll succeed in spite of all these things.
When you love and believe in yourself, you’ll be surprised at how much further you can go. Struggle with insecurity and self worth? Have a read of our article on 9 steps to not being insecure anymore.